Romance & Dating Scams

They love me, they love me not. Here’s how you can prevent yourself from falling victim to some of the sneakiest crimes out there—romance scams.

A romance scam is when someone pretends to be in a relationship with their victim in order to steal information or money. These criminals are all over the internet—behind messaging apps, dating sites, and social media profiles. The world is so digital now that it is normal to find social groups, friends, and even romantic partners online, quickly and easily. But accepting the ease of a digital age invites a whole slew of unexpected risks that are lurking behind the screens.
Stage 1: The Fake Profile
The skilled criminal will not have a lot of information or pictures on their profile. The few pictures they do have are stolen and the image is often someone trustworthy like a soldier, businessman, model, firefighter, doctor, nurse, or even just a good-looking person with kind eyes, that typically lives in another country.
Stage 2: Grooming the victim.
The scammer takes any chance they get to relate and spoil their target.
  • They'll play with fate by sharing a fake backstory similar to the victims.
  • They're confident and quick to demonstrate their love or need for their target shortly after the initial meeting.
  • They always seem to say the “right” thing.
  • They send flowers, chocolates, jewelry, or other gifts to make up for not being able to meet in person.
There’s just one thing they won’t be able to do—give out physical attention. They always have a reasonable excuse for not meeting in person.
Stage 3: The money request
Within weeks of knowing them, the scammer will start asking for help. It starts small with little things like gas money or a bus fare because they “forgot their wallet” and are stranded—or some other justifiable reason. This first request is a test, “Will the target pass or fail?” The minute a person gives them money, it shows they’re willing and likely to again.
What to Do
  • If you’re worried about the validity of a person’s profile, save their profile photo to your computer and do a reverse image search to see if that image was stolen from another website.
  • Scammers will often get message scripts off the internet that have been pre-written, so if you copy their messages and paste them into any search engine you can see if there are any existing messaging scripts that match it.
Report the crime.
  • Contact your bank or credit union’s fraud department.
  • If you met the fraudster on a dating app, report them to the dating site.
  • Report them to the FBI Internet Crime Complain Center.
While romance scams can be devastating, remember that awareness is your best defense. Stay hopeful—there are countless opportunities for meaningful relationships out there. Protect yourself, stay informed, and embrace the potential for real connections that uplift and enrich your life.